


Vertigo

by the_deep_magic



Series: Toy Box [4]
Category: Actor RPF, Star Trek RPF
Genre: Aftercare, BDSM, Comfort, Established Relationship, Flogging, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-20
Updated: 2010-05-20
Packaged: 2017-10-19 10:12:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/199718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_deep_magic/pseuds/the_deep_magic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris uses the safe word.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vertigo

**Author's Note:**

> Despite the premise, this is actually much more fluffy than angsty. Heavy emphasis on aftercare.

“Stop, _stop_!  Wait, Zach… red light!” Chris wails and Zach’s heart freezes in his chest.

Without another word, he tosses the flogger away and goes for the cuffs around Chris’ wrists.  With his hands free, Chris tears off the blindfold and Zach tries to meet his eyes, to get some sense of what’s wrong.  His hands reach for the collar, but Chris bats them away.  By the time Chris is up on his side, rubbing at his wrists, Zach is shaking.  He’s read about this; he should’ve been prepared for it, but his mind is a whirling blank.  “What’s wrong?  Did I hurt you?”

Chris shakes his head.  “No, it’s not that.”

Zach tries to remember what to do, whether he’s supposed to hold Chris close or give him his space, but all he wants to do is pull Chris into his arms.  “Do you want me to…? Can I touch you?” he asks, reaching out a tentative hand. 

Chris nods, shivering a little as the adrenaline ebbs and the sweat starts to dry on his skin, and Zach reaches down to yank the comforter up over both of them.  He pulls Chris toward him, lightly at first until Chris relaxes a little, curling into the warmth of Zach’s body.  Then Zach wraps his arms around the other man and buries his nose in Chris’ hair, nuzzling and kissing his scalp. 

“I’m okay,” Chris whispers, though Zach can feel that his erection is mostly gone.

“You don’t have to talk now,” Zach murmurs.  He remembers that – there will be time for talking later.  Right now he just needs to make sure Chris knows he’s safe.  “Just relax.  Does anything hurt more than it should?”

Chris shakes his head again and Zach starts to rub a soothing hand across Chris’ shoulders, mindful of the raw skin farther down.  “You’re safe with me, Chris.  I love you.  I love you so fucking much.  You did the right thing – I’m not upset with you.  Not at all.  I don’t want you to be afraid.”

“’m not,” Chris says softly.  “I just need a minute.”

“You’ve got it, all the time you need,” Zach says, shutting his eyes and feeling the expansion and contraction of Chris’ chest as he breathes, slow and steady.

Zach tries to think back to what they’d been doing right before Chris used their safe word.  He’d been using the flogger on Chris’ back, something they’ve done many times before.  What had he been saying to Chris?  Nothing too mean or degrading, he didn’t think – Chris had made it clear early on that he liked being dominated, not humiliated.  Zach is so lost in thought that he twitches a little in surprise when Chris’ lips move against his neck.  “You’re still shaking.”

“I’m still scared I hurt you,” Zach groans.  “Or did something unspeakably awful.”

“No, nothing like that,” Chris murmurs, pulling back enough to press a soft kiss to Zach’s lips.  “I’m okay, I promise.  I just got a little freaked out – no long-term therapy required.”

Zach squashes the impulse to ask _Are you sure?_ or _You’re not just saying that?_   He doesn’t want to be condescending, and after searching the other man’s eyes for a long moment, Zach’s gut instinct tells him Chris really is okay.  He lets out the breath he didn’t know he was holding and kisses Chris for real, slow and tender and sweet.

“Could use something for my back, though,” Chris says when their lips part. 

Zach nods and gently extricates himself from Chris’ hold, glad to have something tangible to do for him.  Aloe in hand, Zach peels back the comforter until it’s only covering Chris from the thighs down.  He surveys the damage – skin flushed dusky pink with a few thin red welts from the flogger and Zach’s fingernails, but no blood.  A little more of the tension flows out of his body as he warms the aloe a bit in his hands first.

He works Chris’ skin in long, slow strokes with light pressure.  A real massage would probably hurt at this point, but he lets his palms rub gentle circles against Chris’ shoulders, moving leisurely down his back until he gets to Chris’ backside.  Zach had yet to pay much attention to Chris’ ass with the flogger, so he feels comfortable digging a little more firmly into the flesh there.  Chris moans softly and Zach has to stop, remind himself that this shouldn’t be sexual anymore – not for Chris – just comforting.

After capping the aloe and replacing it on the nightstand, Zach stretches out beside Chris on the bed, facing him and taking a light hold of his hand.  “Do you want me to turn out the lights?” Zach asks.

“Not just yet.  We still need to— I need to tell you what happened back there.”

“Yeah, you do, but it can wait ‘til morning, if you want.”

“No, it’s okay.  I want to go ahead and get it out of the way.  It’s kind of… embarrassing,” Chris admits with a sheepish smile.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Zach says as earnestly as he can, pressing Chris’ hand to his lips and cuddling up against his side.

“It’s just… It’s kind of weird.”  He pauses, but Zach waits him out.  “It was the fingernails.  Well, partly the fingernails.”

Zach bites down hard on his lip, irrationally angry at himself.  He should have known, he thinks.  Somehow, he should have known, or at least known to ask beforehand.  If he was a better dom—

“Shit, this is what I didn’t want,” Chris says, pushing up a little on his elbows.  “You beating yourself up about this.  You’re supposed to beat _me_ up, remember?  That’s how this works.”

Zach groans but nuzzles Chris’ neck gratefully, nose bumping against the collar.  “I just feel so responsible for you when we do this.”

“You _are_ responsible.  You take really good care of me.  You couldn’t have known – I didn’t even know.  Well, I sure as hell wasn’t thinking about it.”

“Chris, just spit it out.”

Chris squirms a little and looks down at the pillow.  “It was the fingernails in combination with… Well, I don’t remember exactly what you said, but you called me _baby_ and there was kind of a mocking tone to it…”

He trails off, but Zach knows there has to be more.  He’s called Chris all sorts of things when they’re playing and has probably said most of them in a mocking tone – there’s something Chris is struggling with.

“My sister had this friend,” Chris says, and Zach is momentarily taken aback.  He hadn’t known what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t that.  “I think her name was Sarah, Samantha, something like that.  Anyway, she and my sister used to play house, and I was about five, so I always had to be the baby.  And of course I was always a bad baby and needed to be punished.”

Zach must look pretty scandalized, because Chris takes one look at him and bursts out laughing.  “No, this isn’t the secret origin of my need to be spanked.  At least, I really, really hope it isn’t.  There wasn’t anything sexual about it – she just had these horrible long nails and if I would try to get away, she would dig them into my arm and drag me back and tell me over and over again how I was just a little _baby_ and I couldn’t do anything for myself so I had to stay where they could see me and do as I was told.  Okay, that sounds really freaky when I say it out loud, but I swear, it was just a stupid kid thing.  Maybe if I was a little older, but I was _five_.”

Zach has his doubts, but he nods.  “So…”

“Christ, I haven’t even thought about that in years.  But when I felt your fingernails and you called me ‘baby,’ it all came back and I just had the instinct to shake you off, run away, and go play with my G.I. Joes.  Maybe tell my mom on you.  Instant bonerdeath.”  Chris laughs again, a little lighter than before.  “See?  Nothing sexual.”

Zach rolls his eyes, but he laughs, too.  “Yeah, I’m sure Freud would give you the all-clear on that.”

“I thought it was obvious that my submissive needs stemmed from my pampered upbringing and constant need for attention,” Chris says coyly, resting his chin in his hands and fluttering his eyelashes.

“Hey, I agreed to beat you up and occasionally stick vibrating objects in you, not wade around in that Oedipal swamp of yours,” Zach teases, poking Chris lightly in the temple.

Chris just laughs and pushes Zach onto his back, bending to nibble at his collarbone.  “Speaking of sticking objects in me…”

“Good lord, your transitions need work.”

“’Now that we have finished discussing my issues, Zachary, I would like to resume having sexual intercourse.’  How was that?”

“Lame,” Zach says, cupping Chris’ face in his hands.  “We don’t have to do anything else.  We can just relax if you want.”

Chris leans down and licks wetly at Zach’s lips.  “I’m sorry – you must be confusing me with some _other_ Chris, one who has already gotten off tonight.  I’m the Chris that’s still horny.”

And how can Zach turn that down?  Even if they should maybe talk about other things that might potentially yank Chris rudely out of subspace, they can do that at a time when he is not naked and quickly getting hard again and rutting against Zach’s thigh.  “How do you want it?” Zach gasps.

“Just like this,” Chris says with a smile, reaching for the lube.  He makes quite a show out of slicking Zach’s cock – twisting his wrist, working him tight and slow – until Zach is practically thrashing with need.

“Chris, god, get on with it,” Zach gasps, thrusting his hips up and pressing his shoulders back into the bed.

Chris just chuckles impishly and bends down, nuzzling against Zach’s neck like a cat before sucking hard at his Adam’s apple.  When he finally lowers himself on Zach’s cock, Zach groans loudly and throws his head back, reveling in the tight heat of Chris’ body around him.

God bless him, Chris doesn’t fool around – just goes right to work bouncing up and down, swiveling his hips occasionally to draw a strangled cry out of Zach.  “Ah, _fuck_.  Yeah, baby, fuck yourself on my cock.  Just like that,” he babbles, and Chris tips back his head with blissful laughter, grinding himself down harder against Zach’s body.

It’s not long before Zach decides Chris is just too far away and reaches up to snag his index finger in the D-ring of the collar still around Chris’ neck.  He doesn’t tug very hard, but it makes Chris gasp – suddenly aware of the collar again – and fall forward on his hands to kiss Zach hard and sweet.  God, but Zach loves this man.  Loves him blindly, stupidly, until he’s dizzy from even considering it.  He’s hit with a sudden urge to slow things down, to lavish Chris with tenderness until they’re both strung out with need for each other, but they’re too far gone now. 

 _Next time_ , Zach thinks as his hips start to piston off the bed of their own accord.  Chris stills and lets Zach thrust up into him at a frantic pace.  Far too soon, Zach is coming, his abs tightening as he curls up to bury himself as deep in Chris as he can.

Chris carefully separates them as all of Zach’s muscles give out at once.  Chris bends to kiss him again, but Zach just tugs at his knees and gasps, “Get up here.”

Chris scoots up, his knees beneath Zach’s armpits and Zach opens wide for his cock.  He lets the head of it rest on the flat of his tongue until Chris starts to get impatient and pushes in, just a little.  That’s when Zach starts to suck, sealing his lips around Chris’ shaft as the man above him rocks deeper into his mouth.  Chris threads his fingers into the hair at the back of Zach’s head, almost cradling him.  Zach knows Chris won’t lose control like this, won’t thrust hard into his mouth and choke him, so Zach reaches around Chris’ waist and slides two fingers down the cleft of his ass. 

Chris’ hole is wet with his cum and it makes Zach moan, which makes Chris jerk and shake and tumble into orgasm before Zach can even slip his fingers inside.  Chris rest his elbows heavily against the top of the headboard as Zach gently licks him clean, the slight roughness of his tongue against Chris’ oversensitive cock making him shiver.

They rearrange themselves with a good deal of stretching and joint cracking, ending up with Chris’ head pillowed on Zach’s chest.  Before they get too boneless, Zach unbuckles the collar from Chris’ neck with careful fingers and sets it reverently on the nightstand.  Chris sighs happily and rubs Zach’s belly with a warm hand.

“So, fingernails are a definite no,” Zach says, lacing his fingers with Chris’.

“Mmm-hmm,” Chris mumbles, and out of the corner of his eye, Zach can see the smile on his lips.  “And if we play house, I’m not the baby.  I get to be the dad.  Or, y’know, the cool uncle that everybody likes.”

“Noah can be the baby,” Zach murmurs before he can think better of it.

Chris snorts softly.  “That’d be kinky, even for us.”


End file.
